This Lifetime Part I
by darket15
Summary: YULLEN WEEK 2012 - Will Kanda be able to sort his feelings out about his past lifetime to be able to know what he wants in this lifetime? How is Allen dealing with feelings he's discovering about Kanda. With everything they've gone through together … will it lead them back to each other?


**TITLE:** THIS LIFETIME

**AUTHOR:** darket15

**PAIRING:** Kanda/Allen or Allen/Kanda

**THEME AND DATE: **PART I — MASKS AND WALLS

**RATE:** M

**WARNING:** Boy/Boy; Not strictly to Canon

**GENRE:** Romance; Transformation

**BETA READER: **RayneLover101 – I want to give special thanks to my friend, RayneLover101, who encouraged me through my writing process.

**SUMMARY:**

**PART I** – **YULLEN WEEK 2012** - Will Kanda be able to sort his feelings out about his past lifetime to be able to know what he wants in this lifetime? How is Allen dealing with feelings he's discovering about Kanda. With everything they have gone through together … will it lead them back to each other?

**DISCLAIMER:** D. Gray-man and characters belong to Katsura Hoshino's: Allen Walker (Bean Sprout), Kanda Yu; Setting from Vols. 2, 20, 21, 22

**A/N**: Yullen Week 2012 – Day 1 ~ MASKS AND WALLS ~ Happy Birthday Kanda and Allen. I started writing this before Vols. 22 & 23 came out.

**THIS LIFETIME **

_PART I _

Alma and Kanda fell from the Arc Gate into Mater, Southern Italy, where Allen had opened the gate for them to escape from The Black Order and the Noah's.

Kanda takes the impact of the fall as they crash into the earth below them, still holding Alma in his arms. He watches as the gate above them crumbles and thinks of Allen. 'Damn it Bean Sprout, I had to do this,' though it didn't stop the pain in his heart. "I'm sure I did the right thing, evidentially you thought so too …" Kanda softly says to himself.

The penalty Allen will pay for opening the gateway for Kanda and Alma's escape could be severe. But Kanda knows Allen well enough, it won't matter what they do to him, he had helped his friend — that's all that matters.

Kanda's kneeling, holding Alma close to him. Supposedly, Kanda is the only one who can save Alma, but he is too badly injured, and beyond any type of recovery, he knows he's dying.

Surrounding them are ruins of majestic pillars, some with cracks, some are broken off, while other remnants of pillars are half buried in the sand dunes. It's a desolate sight. The gray over cast sky is the back drop of a city fallen from the evil of war and destruction.

Kanda drags both of them to a pillar where he leans his back against it holding Alma in his arms. Alma senses Kanda's feelings of loss. During their fighting Alma had felt the strong attachment between Allen and Kanda – their aura had shown a strong bond they share.

"Yu, Allen's a Noah … but you already know that … it doesn't matter that he is …"

"Your right Alma, it doesn't fucking matter he's a Noah," Kanda says, with a slight tone of anger in his voice.

"Yu … now you know the truth, I carry the soul of the woman you love … the person you'd been searching for. There's no need to search anymore Yu … ahh …" Alma's feeling his strength diminishing.

"You fool, stop talking and save your strength."

"No, I need to tell you before I die … Yu, I forgive you and release you from your promise … now's the time you need to find the other person."

"What other person? What the …" Kanda's confused, 'who the fuck is he talking about?'

"The person you should be with … has always been by your side … ah … I know you don't understand … but neither does the other person realize it … find happiness with this person Yu … please. Allen … he _ he_ cares very deeply for you … you'll find happiness with –." Alma couldn't tell him who it is he has to find it out for himself.

"Alma, what the hell are you talking about? Happiness with whom … I don't understand …"

"Yu ... the person you need to be with … ahh … you'll figure it out … please stay with me … until the end …" Alma can tell the end is very near, he hopes Yu can finally find happiness with the one he really loves. He feels his breath slowly leave his lungs, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

"Of course Alma, you're my friend, I'll stay ... _Alma!"_

Emotions always had been foreign to Kanda. To him they just got in his way and had never dealt with them – ever. It was easier to walk away. But, now he has no choice, for they have been unleashed, and he can't stop the single tear stream down his face, nor the aching in his heart.

Kanda hears Alma, "Yu, you have always been dear to me …"

Alma dies in Kanda's arms. He closes his eyes holding Alma's broken body tightly, "Yes Alma, I know — I hear you."

Kanda softly whispers, "Good-bye Alma … I will bury your remains my friend … for that's all I can do … I'm sorry I couldn't save you."

Leaning his head back against the pillar, Kanda's mind drifts, 'After I bury him … then what? What the hell do I do next? I'm physically weak … and I need to heal … my thoughts … I can't seem to collect my thoughts … they seem to be pieces scattering about in my mind.'

Kanda couldn't absorb anymore emotions. He needs to clear his mind to take away the confusion. He takes a deep breath and exhales, 'I'm so exhausted.' His last thought and image in his mind before sleep took hold, is Bean Sprout and that goofy smile he would always give him, there's a slight smile on Kanda's face as he drifts off to sleep.

_Anger … why are you trying to stop me … you're a fucking Noah! … I have to kill you … Alma … is that Alma … everything's blurry …The Black Order … hazy … the hatred … the anger … it's your entire fault … I stab him … over and over … why did I do that … confusion … I'm changing … evolving … Allen … is that you Bean Sprout ... Bean Sprout! … sweating … hot … stop … everything's moving … what's happening to me_?

Kanda awakes startled and sweating profusely. 'A dream … it's just a bad dream … but no … Alma's still in my arms. It is real … did I actually stab Bean Sprout?' Kanda's head pounds with visions of him stabbing Allen. 'What was I thinking to do that to him? Now I've awakened the fourteenth in Bean Sprout, like he already didn't have enough to deal with.'

Meanwhile, back at headquarters, Allen has been imprisoned for his actions of letting Kanda and Alma escape.

"Okay Walker, you are now under house arrest. As before, Link will be supervising you 24/7, you are to follow all rules that have been set forth," Rouvelier says, in a displeased tone of voice.

"And Walker, you should feel lucky I even considered this type of action. But with this current situation you're more valuable out of prison than in. You're dismissed! Link, take your charge and leave my office, I don't want to see his face," Rouvelier growls, bitterly in his brusque manner.

The Black Order, once again, had needed to re-locate to establish a new headquarters. Rouvelier had removed Allen from prison to work with Link on the re-organization of the headquarters' library.

Link is not a bad person, he's only following orders, but that's Link — by the book. Central Agency had been waiting for the fourteenth to show his face again, but Allen's been stronger and had been able to keep him at bay.

This isn't the first time Allen's been released from his chains in prison. Komui and Link had pulled him out of prison earlier due to a depression he'd been in since Kanda left. They had felt allowing Allen to fix up a room for Kanda, just in case he came back, would help ease his troubled mind.

Link had even taken Allen back to the old headquarters' to sort through the rumble, bringing back many of Kanda's possessions, which Allen had then arranged the room identical to Kanda's old room. It had been a good thought, but Allen still remains in a depression.

As Link and Allen walk back to his room, a twinge of pain comes from his abdomen, the stab wound Kanda had given him is still healing. He covers the area with his hand quickly.

"Are you okay Allen?" Link asks, watching him as they approach his room. "Is your wound still painful?"

"I'm alright Link, though I should rest awhile. It still tires me," Allen replies, not saying the pain is a constant reminder of Kanda.

Allen lies on his bed and closes his eyes to rest. It hasn't been the Noah that intrudes on Allen's mind, it's Kanda.

'I should feel great — no longer do I have Kanda flaring up at me for every little thing I say or do, no longer is he calling me an idiot, stupid or to shut up. No one's rude to me. No one riles me with their arrogance _and_ no one calls me Bean Sprout. Hmm … Bean Sprout … the name has sort of grown on me — almost like a pet name from Kanda.

With Kanda gone, my life just isn't the same anymore. I miss our fighting and bickering, especially that twisted look of annoyance on his face.' Allen manages a slight smile at the memory. Exhausted his body feels heavy and his eyelids heavier, he dreams.

_Kanda's cold blue eyes' gazes into my silver ones mocking me, "You fucking moron, is that all you've got to attack me?"_

_"I thought you were a destroyer of time, but you act like a wimp. No wonder you always end up sitting on your fuckin' ass," Kanda sneers._

_"I'll show you what I have!" I retort angrily._

_Swoosh! Swoosh! Damn Kanda, he easily dodges my practice sword. Ugh, my gut … need to catch my breath … what's this pain in my gut? I'm flying quickly through the air … ugh I feel the solid wall as my body strikes it. The bloody bastard had kicked me in the gut! I taste blood as it forms in the corner of my mouth._

_"Give it up Bean Sprout, you're not strong enough to take me, and you know it!" his voice rumbles deeply._

_"Anyway, you annoy the hell out of me!" Kanda snarls, I watch as he escalates into full rage._

_"Don't think you're the only one who gets annoyed, you jerk! I have a mind to come over there and kick your ass. Maybe I'll remove that stupid ponytail of yours with your own sword!" _

_My rage is hot … I'm running at full force … I fling my body into his taking him down, fists are flying. Ouch, my hair is being pulled, and in my angry blindness I hear Kanda swearing. We're gripping onto each other, panting heavily, and sweat running down our faces, though our rage starts subsiding._

_He gazes at me, his eyes now a deeper, warmer cobalt blue and shows a flicker in them of … lust? We collapse to the cool floor to lie down, side by side, lying close so our bodies touch each other. Kanda turns his head to look at me, tingling feelings spread throughout my body, then I feel his hand take mine, his warm fingers intertwine with mine ... darkness … is someone watching me …_

_I'm grabbed and pulled into the dark alley, it's an attack! No … the electrifying feelings… Kanda thrusts his body against mine, pinning my arms and hands over my head, crushing his lips to mine. _

_His warm mouth and tongue demand mine at the same time my ripped shirt hangs open, so I feel the heat of his body touching the heat of my own. Succumbing to the willingness of pleasure our bodies cry out for one another, it's pure erotic bliss… _

Allen awakens, 'I don't want to wake up … the dream feels so real, I can still feel his hands on my hot body and his lips on mine. That's what it had been like every time we met, it was aggressive and hot, but it wasn't just the sex,' the thoughts drift in Allen's mind.

'As time went by, our coming together grew beyond what either of us expected. We just didn't know how to express our feelings into words. I guess it had been easier to ignore and deny them. Though, neither of us could ignore the special feelings of contentment, comfort and harmony when lying in each other's arms,' Allen quietly sighs.

'Now, he's so far away from me. There's this growing hunger for him, a hunger no one can satisfy but him. God, is there no mercy to enshroud me through this painful time?'

A sharp pain strikes again from his abdomen, he winces. Allen sits up holding his wound, and then looks over to Link sitting in the chair reading.

"Link, I'd like to go to Kanda's room if it's alright with you."

"Sure, it's alright."

Entering Kanda's room, Mugen still sits in the corner next to the bed where Allen had left it. He walks over, picks up the sword, and holds it close to him. He's done this often — it gives him the feeling Kanda's nearby. After his dream of Kanda he needed to come here.

Holding Mugen close, Allen remembers when Kanda had said he would never save him in battle, especially if it meant losing the mission, but Kanda had always stepped in to save him anyway.

'Kanda would always watch my back, even when he said he wouldn't. I had trusted him with my life as he had trusted me with his; somehow it had been an understanding between us.'

"Allen, do you mind if I ask you why you always come to Kanda's room?" Link asks, curious.

"That's a good question Link. It's really crazy of me, but …," still holding Mugen, Allen walks to the window near Link and looks out. "I miss him Link … I miss everything we were to each other … sounds silly, doesn't it?" Allen whispers to the window, with a forlorn look on his face.

Watching his charge he's thinking, 'His depression seems worse. It's almost as if he's heartbroken, but over Kanda? They had been like sworn enemies in the same camp fighting for the same cause. Their constant fighting and bickering had drove people around them crazy. They had been worse than an old married cou— … wait a minute …' Link looks closer at Allen '… could it be that Allen's … it's not impossible.'

Link isn't the only one noticing the depressed mood showing outwardly in Allen, Komui has also. He's worried about his physical and mental condition. Allen's lack of sleep and eating shows in the weight he's starting to lose.

Allen had always eaten tons of food, but now he has little interest in a tasty bowl of anything. Komui senses Allen's feelings of loss, but there's something else going on deeper inside of him. This is why Komui's been apprehensive about sending Allen out on a mission.

'Though, I'm wondering if it might be good for him, to get out, and we are down many Exorcists now. His wound is almost healed, but there's a chance of that re-opening if he got into a fierce battle,' Komui thinking. 'I'll talk with Link and find out what he thinks about sending Allen back into the field.'

Meanwhile, Kanda, for the past six months had been working on healing himself — both physically and mentally. The physical strength came easier then the mental healing. During this healing period, Kanda had meditated for long hours going over questions and thoughts that flowed through his mind.

'Hell, I have to decide now. Do I keep running away from my fucking past and emotions, or do I make sense of what's happened in my life. Shit, it's been six months and I'm still fighting myself.'

"Okay shithead, if you want to have any peace of mind you need to absorb the meaning of _your_ life," he mutters to himself.

'Damn, I'll need to go back and face what happened in the beginning, everything I've been running from for the past nine years.'

'Okay, let's go over this again. Alma — what was my relationship to him — really? He had become my friend, he's the one who carried her soul, and she's the one I had loved when we were killed on the battlefield.'

"Damn it, she was my other lifetime," Kanda says, out loud.

'I had been near death, or dead on the battlefield, when they took my brain and incarnated it into a new body. That's where I grew, and Alma had helped pull me out of the womb pool when I was ready to be born. What a fucking pest he had been in the beginning.'

'They had done those experiments and the synchronizations … they were for me to become an accommodator and wield Innocence,' Kanda's thinking, trying to make sense of everything, and how he became the way he is.

'Now I remember, it had been damn painful both physically and mentally during the synchronizations, and it had only got worse as my memories returned to me. Hmm, I remember her … I had loved her in the lifetime before … hell I didn't know her in this lifetime. Those memories had been from long ago.'

'I had been nothing but a damn child … just been artificially reborn … I had made the promise in my other lifetime I'd love her … forever. But seeing her in the labs … I had promised her again, but as a child in this lifetime … she had said forever to me … I had kept searching for that person … who all along had been Alma … because he had been the one reborn with the soul of the woman I loved.'

"Fuck! Am I making any sense to myself? Past lifetime … present lifetime … what the hell is my real lifetime?" He shakes his head trying to clear it. 'Shit, is that the real question for me? What am I about now; who the hell am I now?'

Alma had the spirit of the woman I love — both are dead now. Does a person have to keep a promise for _two_ lifetimes if the person doesn't exist anymore? Can feelings from one lifetime be extended into another lifetime and still hold true to their origins?'

'Damn it! Alma had released me from my promise. Why can't I allow myself to be released from it, it's been nine fucking years! It doesn't mean I need to forget my past love, I need to accept I had one, and it will always be a part of me.'

'Then there's the damn matter of forgiving myself for believing I had killed Alma. Alma had forgiven me. Shit! As a child I had decided I wanted to live … if I hadn't kill Alma, than he would've killed me. I saw how the dark matter inside Alma had caused him to change.'

'Hell, I had built walls around me to protect myself from my painful past … is that where all my arrogance, hot headedness and anger comes from … have those walls crumbled?'

'Questions … questions … questions! Damn this is so mentally tiring.' Kanda holds his fingers to his temples, massaging them wanting the thoughts to stop processing in his mind. 'Okay, just let everything go … quiet my mind' … Kanda takes to deep breathing to calm himself … to just be in the moment … 'breath … yes … much better.'

Like Kanda, Allen mentally isn't doing as well as Link and Komui have been hoping for. Instead he seems to be sinking further into depression.

"Link, Allen's wound has finally healed. He's still in a depression, though he does try to appear like his old self, but he isn't. Do you have any suggestion as to what we should do about this?" Komui asks, looking seriously at Link.

"I think it's time for you to have a talk with Allen. Maybe talking with him he'll reveal what's really going on inside," Link quietly replies.

"That's probably not a bad idea. Sometimes it helps people to talk about their feelings. I'll have Allen come to my office." He had Link tell Allen to come to his office, which ten minutes later Komui hears, a knock on his door.

Allen opens the door to Komui office, entering, "You want to see me Chief?"

"Yes Allen, I do. Please, come in and sit down so we can chat. Oh, would you mind closing the door behind you? Thank you. Links have a seat anywhere that's comfortable. Would either of you like some coffee? Reever just made a fresh batch."

"No thank you Komui," Link says, sitting down.

"Same here, no thank you … I'm fine. What did you need to see me about?"

Komui pulls his comfortable wing-back chair over to Allen so they are closer together and in a more personal setting. After taking a sip of his coffee, Komui brings the subject to light.

"Allen I'm going to come straight to the point. I, along with Link, am worried about you."

I've watched you over these past six months. Since Kanda's been gone you haven't pulled yourself together. You've lost weight you cannot afford to lose, your distracted by your thoughts constantly making you unfocused when you need to be focused.

If Kanda was here … seeing you like this … well, he'd kick your butt and give you a mouth full of attitude to boot. He wouldn't want you moping around like a lost puppy. What's going on Allen? What are you dealing with? Talk to me — please."

There's a moment of silence before Allen speaks. "I wish Kanda was here to kick my butt," Allen says, sadly.

"Komui, I've been trying to sort out my feelings for months now. I know Kanda and I didn't act like best friends, but …" Allen wasn't sure if Komui knew Kanda and he had been lovers, or if they had been discreet enough to hide it, if so it's no use saying it now.

"Damnit, I miss him, I'm having sharp pains in my chest most of the time, and this overwhelming sense of sadness comes over me," Allen says, straight out.

Link's still sitting quietly, observing and listening, but not taking any notes. Once Allen opens up about his feelings, the words come spewing out.

"Komui, I know Kanda had to take Alma out of here. For God sakes! I had helped to set him free so he could be with the person he loves, the one he's been searching for all these years. I had even seen with my own eyes, and had felt in my own heart what Kanda had gone through as a child! It was horrible!"

"But now Kanda is with … {choke} … with Alma … Alma loves Kanda … Kanda loves him … {choke} … I'll probably never see Kanda again … there isn't any hope for me to be … to be …"

"…with him? There is no hope for you and Kanda to be together. Are you in love with Kanda, Allen?" Komui asks, with a look of surprise on his face.

Allen's looks at Komui with tears streaming down his face, Komui swore he could hear Allen's heart breaking.

Allen wipes the tears away thinking, 'is that what all these feelings have been about — I'm in love with Kanda? How the hell did that happen, from all our intimate moments we had together? All I know is Alma had been the person Kanda's been searching for all these years. There's no way Kanda would _ever_ come back to me — let alone _love_ me.'

"I don't know how this happened to me," Allen confesses.

Softly, almost in a whisper Komui says, "Allen, we don't choose the person we want to fall in love with — it just happens."

"Now Allen, we both know the likelihood of Kanda ever leaving Alma, or coming back to the Black Order is nil, isn't that right?"

"I do know that in my mind, I just can't get my heart to understand it … Komui —?"

"Yes, Allen?"

"I have to confess, I'm not sure how to continue without Kanda by my side. He's been my strength in his own stubborn crazy way."

By the look on Links face, he didn't look surprised. Link already has his own inklings on the subject of Kanda and Allen.

Now, back in Mater, Southern Italy, Kanda continues to try and understand his own feeling that have been tormenting him for the past few years and months.

Swoosh! Swoosh! Swoosh! Are the sounds of Kanda's sword slicing through the air as he practices vigorously blindfolded. This sword is not Mugen, but it works for a substitute. Kanda steadily walks through his movements as if choreographing dance steps … gracefully and fluidly … Kanda finishes his workout.

He removes his blindfold and wipes some of the sweat from his brow. Yes, Kanda is definitely getting physically stronger. The moonlight illuminates everything around him. 'I love the nights when there's a full moon.' Kanda remembers some of those nights with Allen.

Looking up at its beauty — he wonders what the idiot Bean Sprout is doing right now. 'He's so far away from me … does he even think of me anymore?'

'Damn I miss not having him around. I had rather enjoyed my verbal feuds with the Sprout, even though I had found him annoying as hell.' Kanda smirks to himself, as he remembers some of the stupid foolish fights they had gotten into.

'Hmm, after what we've gone through together, those fights seem so trivial to the recent events in our lives.'

'Damnit, why do I keep thinking of him? The memories — all the times we had sparred and fought each other. Funny, by the end of each session, I'd see him clearer and clearer as a person. He had been dealing with just as much pain and darkness inside as I had.

Hell, during our fighting, I'd let him throw all he had at me to help rid him of his rage inside. It had been when we'd cool down, lying on the floor next to each other — I wanted to reach out and touch him each time. Until finally, I had enough courage to move close enough, allowing myself to touch him, to take hold of his hand.

That had just brought on more agony inside of me for him. I was drawn to him, even though he annoyed me. At times, I wondered if it had been his craziness about saving everyone that had excited, and drew me closer to him.

There had been something about him, his smell after fighting, his passionate rage at the Akuma and justice … everything had seemed to match my own spirit. We may not have agreed on the subject at hand, but our soul, our spirits … had been the same.

I had tried to forget our intimate times together, but the imprint of his lips, his body and his heated passion seems to be branded into me. It had been real to me, he brought me comfort and harmony during those times.' A stabbing pain strikes his heart as his stomach feels a swirling sensation.

'I still hunger for him … I still reach for him in the night, unconsciously. His warm body as it curled into mine had been a perfect fit. It felt right, like he had always meant to be beside me. What are these feelings flowing inside of me?'

Kanda heads to the passageway which leads to the center of the underground rooms. 'Every time I walk through here the idiot Bean Sprout comes to mind. Ah yes, our first mission together, what a soft-hearted moron Bean Sprout had been. To think he had willingly put himself in jeopardy before taking that doll's Innocence.

Idiot! He could have had us both killed — but that was Bean Sprout, always trying to do what was right and just. He had never given up on anyone — his heart was too soft. There's a strong tugging on my heart — what the hell …?'

Kanda suddenly realizes Bean Sprout never gave up on him — or Alma. 'We fought side-by-side through that horrific ordeal at both the European Branch and then the North American Branch. The time came we had been fighting against each other. Bean Sprout had been so persistent for me to see and look at Alma — to remember.

The Sprout's heart is so big — he'd give of himself again and again to help a fellow Exorcist or really anyone — even at his own expense. He let me go with Alma didn't he? That had to be the hardest thing to do after the relationship we had shared together. What was it Alma had said before he died? Oh yes, Bean Sprout cared deeply for me.

How does Bean Sprout fit into all this? And why can't I forgive myself? Will I ever be able to release myself from my promise made nine years ago — I've been wrestling with these thoughts for months. Why is it so hard to let go of my promise and all this hatred?'

Though Kanda had been getting physically stronger, he's still tormented by his own thoughts. They hold him captive from living his life.

'What life do I have anymore? I've lost everything — I even lost Alma all over again. The Black Order took everything from me! All those years I had thought I'd killed my friend, then to find out he was _alive._ The Order had kept secrets from me, they let me believe I'd killed my friend! They had used Alma to continue with the Second and Third Exorcist plans.

Thinking about the Black Order had only brought on the deep seeded rage hidden inside of him and it began to increase and accumulate in strength until his mind snaps.

The haunting memories come flooding back to him '… _pain in my head … I killed Alma … I loved her … promises … I loved my friend … forever … visions of lotus floating … thoughts … questions … forgive yourself … let it all go … lead your own life … have your own life … what is my own life?' _

The swarming sounds and voices swirl in his head until finally he puts his hands over his ears _… Alma … the woman I love … Allen … he cares … Allen cares deeply for you … past lifetime … this lifetime … _keeps getting louder and louder …_ stop the sounds_ … _stop the noise … stop the talking_

Kanda couldn't stand it anymore! He runs out of the room, through the passageway, out into the fresh clean air.

"Stop it! Just stop all this noise! _What do you want from me_?" Kanda falls to his knees, knelling he rocks back and forth, holding his hands over his ears trying to stop the loud insane noises swirling in his head!

"All Right! _Enough!_ _I _**_forgive_**_ myself_ … oh Kami I do … I forgive myself for trying to kill Alma … I _**release**_ myself … from a promise given … in the past … Kami let me live … I'm told you chose us … then let me _**choose**_ to live the lifetime I have _**now**_ … not one from a _past life!_ _Free me!_" Kanda screams into the skies above.

Kanda's exhausted. Still kneeling, his head hangs to his chest, his arms hang at his side, sweating, the moonlight shines down illumines him. It's like Jericho's walls tumbling down all over again.

If there had been someone there to witness the sight – they would have seen Kanda's transformation. It's as if you could see all the demons that had been tormenting him his whole life rise out of him – leaving behind the man he's meant to be.

Kanda feels as if a heavy weight is being lifted off him. He's free … free of all the torment … free from all the noises in his head … free to choose his own life. Then the words rang true to him from Alma.

_"Kanda I saw the person you should be with … you may not see it … that person may not realize it either … find happiness with that person Kanda … please … Allen … he _ he_ cares deeply for you …" _

_Real_ emotions well up inside of Kanda. Emotions he'd fought before to blind himself about how he had felt about Allen. 'Could it be? No it's not possible! Bean Sprout — am I in love with Bean Sprout?' A smile forms on Kanda's lips, 'Ridiculous?'


End file.
